Meet Holly

I never imagined I would be writing something like this.  

As a mum, you do everything you can to protect your child, to make sure they feel safe and supported. I never thought we’d hear those words… our little Holly has cancer.  

My name is Jenna and I’m Holly’s mum. Holly is almost four now. She loves music, singing and dancing, swimming, and playing with her big brother Finn.  

I want to share more of Holly’s journey.

I remember the Sunday afternoon so clearly. We were playing outside, and Holly went to step down off the deck, and it was just like, she’d had a minor fall. I thought nothing of it. I gave her a cuddle, went to put her back down and she couldn’t weight-bear on her left leg. I thought, oh, that’s unusual because it was such a minor fall.  

Then she started not really eating very well. And then just sitting on the couch, not her usual bubbly, happy self. I knew something wasn’t right.  

And she wasn’t getting any better.  

After weeks of doctors’ appointments and tests, we were rushed down to the Children’s Haematology and Oncology Centre in Christchurch.  

Once there, Holly was diagnosed with High-Risk B Cell Acute Lymphoblastic Leukaemia. Life as we knew it shattered in an instant.  It was just two weeks before Holly’s second birthday.  

We had been so excited to celebrate her birthday, we never imagined it would be in hospital. We were allowed two hours off the ward, and my brother and sister-in-law made her a bunny cake.   

It’s amazing the details you remember, the special moments that make all the difference in such a horrific time.   

Holly had become so unwell, so quickly. I can’t bear to think about it, but I know she wouldn’t have lasted much longer the way she was. The first two weeks were horrific, absolutely horrific.  

How do you explain it to her, a not-even-two-year-old, that she’s about to have multiple rounds of chemo?

There was so much information coming at us. You learn words you never wanted to learn. I think because we were in a state of shock, when you’re given all that information, you’d probably take in like 5% of it, and the rest – I don’t even know what he said to me. 

So I went searching for others’ stories. Proof that it was possible to get through something so disorienting, disheartening, and unspeakably painful.

The paediatric oncology ward in Christchurch was empty except for Holly and I at the time, so I had no one to show me where the journey might lead. It was really helpful reading other people’s stories, trying to remain optimistic about the journey. I didn’t know then that I would meet so many other parents, through Child Cancer Foundation, with stories to share from their own children’s journeys. How much more support and hope they would share with me

I hope that, by sharing our story here, other families at the start of their own journeys will read this, and share in that hope.

But I didn’t have that hope yet, sitting alone on the ward in Christchurch, just me and Holly, without my husband or Holly’s brother to support us.

And we couldn’t just pop home to see them. Holly and I were in Christchurch for weeks. But Nathan, Holly’s dad, and Finn, her big brother, then four, had to stay back in Wellington. We had to keep our family business running. 

You’re in this unimaginable situation and yet the world just goes on. It was impossible to think about work, about employees and bills to pay, but you just have to put on a brave face and keep going. 

Finn also struggled with all the change. We knew we had to maintain what we could of his routine and give him the comfort of being at home. But they felt so far away.

Our family was split in two.

As a mother, it’s incredibly hard to ask for help. I was so sure we could manage on our own. But I’ve learned that strength isn’t just about standing on your own – sometimes it’s about having the courage to reach out.

Child Cancer Foundation took our hand.

Through the donations from all their generous supporters like you, they funded flights from Wellington to Christchurch and back, so our family could be together. Holly’s face would just light up when her dad and Finn arrived.

And then we met Tania. Our Child Cancer Foundation Family Support Coordinator – and her support changed everything.

Tania had introduced herself over the phone when she arranged the flights, but meeting her in person gave me so much comfort. We were just trying to figure out how to survive at that point.

Tania would come see us in the hospital. I remember she actually came the first time Holly had anaphylaxis. She turned up and she bought a coffee and gave me a big hug.

It’s just knowing that there’s someone there that, she’ll take the time to talk and listen to you. I could call Tania for anything, in whatever state I was in. She was always so calm and reassuring.

Holly’s journey has been very isolating for our family, as our support network was more limited, so Tania’s support meant the world. It really is just me and Nathan managing things day to day, so having the Child Cancer Foundation there for us, knowing they care, has been amazing.

I remember calling Tania up when I was particularly stressed out, and she just talked very kindly to me, and made me feel like how I was feeling was completely normal. It made such a difference.

And her care extended beyond that. Finn wasn’t coping with the lack of routine and not knowing what was going on. Life doesn’t stop and your other children still need you - your focus is on the child that’s undergoing treatment, so your other child is out to the side a bit.

Finn had a lot of anxiety after everything happened. But Child Cancer Foundation provided support for Finn too. Tania organised counselling for him, which was really needed in a very, very challenging point of Holly’s treatment. Having that available was incredible.

I also spoke to a general counsellor for myself, maybe four times, when Holly was in the thick of treatment. And the counsellor also had her own experience with a child who had been through cancer treatment (Tania specifically referred to her) which was fantastic as she knew what I was going through and I didn’t have to explain everything.

Holly’s cancer diagnosis impacted our whole family. In ways I never could have imagined, and still will for a long time into the future, I’m sure. But what I hadn’t realised was that it wasn’t just Holly who needed care and support. No family should have to walk this journey alone. It’s unbearable. Having care and support wrapped around our whole family changed everything. Even to this day.

More recently, we’ve joined the Wellington Whānau Connect community and I put my hand up to help with organising last year’s Christmas Party. It’s so good to be involved in something positive as part of this – something nice for the kids and the families to do. And I reckon that’s the thing she’ll remember. The fun stuff.

Having this wrap-around support for our family, during the worst time of our lives – you can’t put a price on it. It’s amazing. If we hadn’t have had Child Cancer Foundation, it would be a different situation. A much worse experience.

There are still so many families just like ours, that need support. They need wrap-around care too. If you can, please consider making a donation to help provide vital care to children with cancer and their families.

Thank you for standing beside children and families when they need it most. I know first-hand that you are making a real and lasting difference. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart,
Jenna, Holly’s mum